When I heard about Sizzl, Oscar Mayer's new dating app for bacon lovers only, I knew I had to try it.
Regardless, with his acknowledgment of my bilandering (that is bacon philandering), I continued on.
To give you a sense of what kind of "bacon lovers" I was attracting, I answered that I was a woman looking for a man who preferred his bacon chewy or crunchy (not burnt, ew) and that if someone offered me bacon flavored with liquid smoke, I would throw it in their face (as opposed to trying it or thinking that was cool). When Sizzl found a few more bacon lovers in my area, I began scrolling through and yes-ing anyone my age-ish (Sorry, John.
Immediately, I matched with 67-year-old John and 46-year-old Rob. Sorry, Rob.) to see how much fun I could really have.
The app is the same idea as Tinder: Once you log in and allow the app to use your location, the profiles of people whose interests match with yours are pulled.
When you see someone you like, you can heart them to find out if you match and you swipe through to keep seeing potential matches.
A few of my matches included Tommy, a 23-year-old who offered no other info about himself other than "Bacon for dayz," John, 31, who would split his bacon with you if you asked, and Keith, 28, who likes pork I think I'm so funny, but Rick hated me.
It was only when, by accident (no, really, there is very limited service in my office and I kept getting error messages when I tried to send them the first, second, 18th, and 19th times), I somehow managed to ask a man named Eric if that was bacon in his pants or was he just excited to see me 20 (twenty) times that I got a response.
I almost told Eric that if he wasn't here for real bacon, I wasn't here for his dick when a man named Howard caught me off guard.
Not scared by the fact that I told him twice (twice!